Fifty Shades of Grey kindle ↠ eBook 9781612130293

book æ Fifty Shades of Grey Æ E.L. James

When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey she encounters a man who is beautiful brilliant and intimidating The unworldly innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and despite his enigmatic reserve finds she is desperate to get close to him Unable to resist You know I was beginning to wonder if I needed to change some of my two star books to one star I was thinking that I might not ever personally read a book worthy of one star and I was messing up my scale by giving some of the lame books I've read lately two stars instead of oneThank you EL James for proving to me there was something worth waiting for Something that truly exemplifies the meaning of terribleNow hold up all you would be defenders I read this whole thing I did not skip anything I did not skim I read every word I bought this book with the intention of giving it the benefit of the doubt You see I love erotica and I'm not ashamed to say that I both read as you see on my 2012 books I've already read two others and write it myself So I was thinking to myself oh maybe there's a possibility that even though this is a twi fiction rewrite and even though everyone makes fun of it it could still be a fun little guilty pleasure read that I can laugh along withNONONONOThis book is NOT eroticsexy funny even ironically endearing full of sexual taboosThis book IS repetitive plotless well you knew that painful to get through depicting manipulative controlling and self destructive as desirable how to not write a novel how to gain success by using other people's characters barely changing them and then laughing all the way to the bankMost people know about the twilight matchups so I'm not going to go into too much detail but it was actually uite sickening how lazy she was to change ANY story detailsBella Anastasia a clumsy girl who grew up in Arizona Las Vegas with her mother then moved to Forks Vancouver Washington where her dad stepdad lives while her mother lives with her new husband in Florida Georgia She has a younger friend named Jacob Jose with a crush on her and whose dad is friends with her dad because they are fishing partners and police force army buddies and who gave her his old truck VW beetleEdward Christian who is adopted and has a sibling named Emmett Elliott and a sister named Alice Mia also adopted who live with their parents Carlisle Carrick really? CARRICK? We couldn't even change the first three letters? and Esme Grace Their father mother is a doctor Rose Kate and Jasper Ethan are also siblings in this story but have been changed to be friends of Anastasia since in Twilight they already have a convenient different last name than the other CullensAlso he 'dazzles' herI can't even function over the fact that upon preparing this book for publishing she couldn't change one fucking thing to make it even remotely different That was too hard TOO DAMN HARD The similarities in character are so untouched that I am sincerely appalled that she thought it 'different' enough to publish as is It's uite disgustingAlright continuing on and once again I'm sure you've heard this already this book is terribly written Most notably the lack of ability to describe anything other than the few choice phrases she knows how to type He ran his hands through his hair I bit my lip He told me not to bite my lip Oh jeez He grabbed me by the chin to make me look up at him Holy crap I peeked up at him Lather rinse repeat Over And over And over For 500 pages Then there's the case of multiple personality disorder where she hears the voices of two distinct other pieces of herself in her head The subconscious the one telling her she's not good enough and the inner goddess the one that's all into the sex It's strange because I'm also currently reading a book right now Deadline where the main character hears a voice in his head because he is literally insane and it's written almost the exact same way he talks back to his voice who presents herself in italics just as Anastasia talks back to her two italics voices It's funny because she's supposed to be completely normal and yet shares the same schizophrenic tendencies as a book about someone who is completely insane This is sense Check out this awesome short paragraph from chapter 24“Through the haze of light I suint and see Christian leaning over me smiling Amused Amused at me Dressed In black”What are these fragments four in a row What is this punctuation GASP AT HIM BEING CLOTHED Is this supposed to be poetry?Let me add some line breaks for poetic interestThrough the haze of light I suint and see Christian leaning over me Smiling Amused Amused at me Dressed In blackThat's almost betterLet's have another shall we from chapter 24 once “I didn't put that song on my iPod” he says casually and puts his foot down so that I am thrown back into my seat as the car accelerates along the freeway What? He knows what he's doing the bastard Who did? And I have to listen to Britney going on and on Whowho?The song ends and the iPod shuffles to Damien Rice being morunful Who? Who? I stare out the window my stomach churning Who?SAY WHO AGAIN BITCH JUST TRY IT I DARE YOUOkay and now maybe even worse than the writing oh hell nothing's worse than the writing nevermind is the lack of plot Now once again you already know this Do I even need to tell you nothing happens? Seeing as it's based off of a book where nothing happens you can be guaranteed that as we go one step removed even less happens Here is the part where I apologize to Twilight where I said in my page by page commentary below that 50 Shades was entertaining I was at the very beginning I wa

eBook Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of GreyEed to control When the couple embarks on a daring passionately physical affair Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desiresErotic amusing and deeply moving the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you possess you and stay with you foreverThis book is intended for mature audienc 0 stars DNF 55% Review edited February 12 2015“Sex is than an act of pleasure it's the ability to be able to feel so close to a person so connected so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it And at this moment you're a part of them 
 Author unknown 

I've had a rather long list of issues when I decided to abandon ship FSoShit is garbage and if I had read a paperback I would have burned the fucking offending thing It's a total mystery to me why this book ever saw the light of day because let's face it the writing is incredibly juvenile The story and characters are extremely poorly written and I couldn't for the life of me connect with the dumb clumsy naïve and immature heroine Also the slimy whacko didn't deserve to be called hero Christian is a highly manipulative abusive and stalker ish asshole His whispers didn't endear him to me either He came off as a total creep I honestly don't understand what Ana saw in him yet on the other hand I didn't get it why Christian would stalk that bland and vapid wallflower In any event these two deserved each other and Ana obviously enjoyed Grey's blunt and crude approachThe whole contract business was pretty much mind boggling I don't believe that a healthy and consensual Domsub relationship could be based upon such crappy and ridiculous rulesChristian the rich Superman sarcasm deflowered our wallflower in a way that's not even worthy of losing any words over that pathetic fuck So you did guess right I neither found the sex to be hot nor erotic AtAll Thus I'd better buy him a ticket to the next Mars expedition stat That would ensure that Mr Grey would not return to our cozy place called Mother EarthFSoG lacked depth and emotion big time Except of disgust and anger I felt nothing towards these pathetic main protagonists and their fucked up trip bored me to tearsThe winking smileys irritated the hell outta me and all that inner goddess shit made me almost blow a fuse JesusFuckingChrist Would you give me a break already? I've read a variety of erotica books and I do enjoy great smexin' that comes with some kind of depth and great characterization However I'm not sorry to say that FSoG is ranking among the worst erotica books I've ever readWhat's seriously bugging me as well is the fact that the general public thinks that FSoShit provides almost every woman's erotic fantasy I don't criticize readers who loved this book but I'm criticizing the media coverage I don't appreciate it when these people claim to know that's what a general majority of women love to read and want in real life or in the bedroom for that matter Seriously? Never Ever FSoG is bad erotica It's bad BDSM too When people say FSoG is “empowering women in their sexuality” then I think something is seriously wrong Never ever could this story empower me in my sexuality What in God’s name is on their minds? I can do it all by myself with my very healthy hand and I can gladly say that my boyfriend is empowering me just fine and is taking care of my needs Thank you very much BTW my boyfriend is not an abusive and manipulative stalker Oh yes now it dawns on memy boyfriend is realBottom line the barely there plot and the characters were overly shallow underdeveloped immature and boring The amateurish writing killed any desire to read anything else by this author in the future And last but not least my inner goddess was so fucking relieved when she had to uit eventually It was a very tedious and crappy experience and I wish I had never bought this book let alone attempted to go through this rubbish I was in dire need of bleaching my brainChristopher Hitchens said Everybody does have a book in them but in most cases that's where it should stay As a side note

E.L. James Æ Fifty Shades of Grey doc

Fifty Shades of Grey kindle ↠ eBook 9781612130293 ì [Read] ➶ Fifty Shades of Grey ➳ E.L. James – Eyltransferservices.co.uk When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey she encounters a man who is beautiful brilliant and intimidating The unworldly innocent Ana iAna’s uiet beauty wit and independent spirit Grey admits he wants her too but on his own terms Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes Ana hesitates For all the trappings of success his multinational businesses his vast wealth his loving family Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the n Introducing an even abusive and disturbing TWILIGHT Now with whips and chains Fifty Shades of Shit Haters please exit stage leftI'm not sure what possessed me to pick up Fifty Shades of Grey I thought I might genuinely like it before I started but all I was left with was one hell of a mindfuck Whatever it was that brought on this knee jerk purchase seems to have mercifully left me with enough common sense to say I will not be continuing on with this seriesRecently I discovered one of my favorite publishers Random House has picked up Fifty Shades of Grey and made this statementAn orig­i­nal work and said to us that James had war­ranted the books were indeed orig­i­nal Mes­sitte added she was “aware of the nar­ra­tive that 50 SHADES started as dif­fer­ently titled piece of fic­tion but that they were and are two dis­tinctly sep­a­rate pieces of workI'm sorry but I'm going to have to call bull shit on that Fifty Shades of Grey and Master of the Universe the original fan fic are essentially the same thing The biggest difference being Edward and Bella's name being replaced with Christian and Anastasia respectively And I would know this because I have both and while I was reading I would occasionally switch back and forth between the two without difficulty I'd go through and give you examples myself but other people have done it already here and here So if you must read this book do yourself a solid and find the fan fic online You even get the second book tooI know some people claim this has no similarities to Twilight and got dammit I'm allergic to all the bull shit Do I really need to point this all out? Because it looks pretty obvious to me The mannerisms of the characters are exactly the same They even say similar things the original characters say The whole dazzle line and Edward asking Bella to trust him Her mother being remarried with the same inability to maneuver her way around a kitchen Bella is still trying to save Edward from himself due to his troubled past Edward still stalks and controls Bella only now he gets to hit her when she gets out of linefacepalm Shall I beat them both? Yes?I struggled to come up with a proper review for this book and couldn't figure out why I was feeling rather uninspired to write one And then I figured it out I was left so disgusted by this book that I wanted to purge the memory of its existence from my mind With a rusty nail Every time I thought of the book my brain cells would go on strike yelling obscenities at me  Anyway I thought Bella and Edward's relationship couldn't get any fucked up than Twilight I stand corrected If I were to describe FSoG in one sentence it would be this Fifty Shades of Grey is like Twilight on steroids high on ecstasy in a dirty little corner A very dirty corner With badly written sex LotsSexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexohsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexFifty Shades of Grey tells the story of the beautiful but of course she doesn't know it naive virgin Anastasia Steal after she is suckered into interviewing the Greek god Christian Grey Of course sparks fly and for some unknown reason he can't seem to stay away from this incredibly unremarkable girl  Ana discovers Christian is into BDSM and desires her as his submissive fuck buddyThere are a myriad of problems with this novel many of which ironically can be found in Twilight Never saw that one coming ChristianEdward is still a controlling bastard only now he hides behind his BDSM practices to camouflage his abusive tendencies However Ana doesn't see it that way She thinks of him as a broken person and it's her duty to fix him Even when he says things like thisI want to hurt you But not beyond anything you couldn't takeCan you believe she let's him beat her after that? And please don't even bother to tell me that it's just BDSM No just fucking no Ana is genuinely afraid of Christian and is never entirely comfortable with the punishment aspect of their relationship But Christian just manipulates her with sex to continue the relationship And that's what really gets me I just have a hard time believing a virgin would somehow become a sex goddess overnight because that is exactly what happens When she first is introduced to his kinky lifestyle and tells him she is a virgin he immediately tells her he needs to handle that situation before they could continue What? Since when is your virginity a situation? But that's not really the kicker Oh no because that is when we are introduced to Ana's two best friends Everyone say hi to SexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexohsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexAnna's inner goddess who always cheers her on when Christian wants sex or wants to punish her She's also uite annoying doing back flips at the mention of anything sexual related Simmer down Where did she come from exactly? Ana is in her twenties and has never felt the urge to have sex with anyone until Christian comes along with his whips and chains?And Ana's sub conscious who hides behind couches when it comes time for her beating When it comes to Ana having sex with Christian well her sub conscious only has one thing to say So after the situation is handled Ana has to sign a contract agreeing to his sexual demands and also outlining things she won't do It was pretty pointless considering he still got what he wanted and she never signed the dam